That's when the brain gets mischievous..
Today I put myself in misery :((((
It's holiday and I've got no where to go and no one to hang out with..
So literally I stayed home...switching channels...surf through Youtube...draw something...waiting for somebody...
It was a really bad morning as I was waken up by noises early morning..
Well... That put me in a bad mood in the 1st place..
*Who'll be happy when you're forced to wake up eaaaarrrly in the morning DURING HOLIDAY??!!!*
*mad mad mad*
The main point is.. The brain is playing some tricks with me..
I know myself well and I know that my brain loves tricks, riddles, challenges, adventures, unusual stuffs...
Well... That's kinda cool..
But the uncool part is... It also likes unnecessary stuffs... Stuffs that are unwanted.. Stuffs that are meant to be forgotten...
Today, as I'm free, I was actually thinking something philosophical..
Something like "Since it's been years after those happened, will I be ok if I trace them back? Will I still be heartbroken if I am to dig them out?"
Challenge accepted and the story after that is actually stupid..
I sat there, staying still and tried to dig out those..well..things and people and emotions...
And as I do so it just felt like I'm cutting open my old scars..
Yea it was stupid.. But I felt amazing how those...things...are still vivid in my memory..
I'm like watching replays throughout the process..
How I was being chased out..
How I was being slapped..
How I was being insulted...
I understand that these scars will follow me for my whole life..
Something that I can't make it fade..
All I can do is to hide them...
But I won't let them haunt me..
Coz I know that there's something bigger and better awaiting ahead..
Just... Sometimes a lil stupidity won't kill...
It did hurt... But it makes me stronger :P
Oh and thank you...
I could cry and sob really comfortably when you're around...
Oh oh oh and and and....
I finished a masterpiece....
From the set of "The Borrower Arrietty" in the collection of Hayao Miyazaki..
Love this ^^
Well, that's it for tonight..
Sweet dreams ❤